A Very Mydols Christmas
Happy tidings from the world’s greatest all-mom garage band—The
Mydols. Soon the tree will be up, there’ll be snow on the ground and we’ll be
busy burning Christmas dinner…again. While we await yet another holiday season
filled with unappreciative children and unwanted house guests who come in
search of free food and drink, we thought we would give you an update on our
band and our latest music project.
Well last year, everyone thought our rock star ambitions were
bigger than our talent. Golly, most people believed our ambition to play
"open-mic night" at the corner pub was bigger than our talent. Well,
we proved everyone wrong. After countless lessons, Judy has mastered five whole
chords on the guitar, and Pat somehow taught herself how to do a drum roll. Our
hotshot bass player, Paige, continues to write wordy songs with too many
notes, causing the rest of us to periodically break into hives. And
finally, our pride and joy, Kara, was voted one of the top ten makeup artists
in the country by Allure magazine. Hey, we know that doesn’t have
anything to do with music but WAY TO GO, KARA!
With all that talent you must be thinking “Wow, I bet they’re
writing this letter from the back of a limousine.” You would think? Well, we’re
not but we still managed to capture the attention of the Wall Street
Journal, The Today Show, CBS Early Morning, Inside Edition
and People magazine. We were even invited to compete in Little Steven’s
(of E-Street Band fame) "Battle of the Underground Garage Bands,"
taking a road trip to beautiful Cleveland, Ohio to do so. (The
cute mini-vans we drive are not just for groceries and chauffeuring the
kids; they also come in handy when you’re hitting the gravel to hump gear
across state lines.)
Enough about music! In Mydols Sports News, our ‘over thirty’
women’s soccer team continues to go head to head with teams consisting of what
appear to be ex-East German Olympic athletes. And even though we continue
to lose week after week, our 'Barbie' pink Mydol jerseys and purple
tie-dyed socks are the envy of the league.
Our families are all doing great. Most of our kids are indifferent
or embarrassed that their moms are in a band but they all seem to be adjusting.
Kara recently overheard her 5 year old ask another child “What band is your mom
in?”
Anyhoo, we could chatter all day, but we have band practice in an
hour. Today we’re going to practice jumping off our amps in go-go boots. We
might rehearse a couple of songs too. And don’t think we’ve forgotten your
gift. We enclosed a seasonal offering titled "Merry Freakin’
Christmas." It’s a cute little ditty with no references to fruitcakes or
reindeer sweaters. With Martha Stewart in the rich lady slammer and
not here to stop us, we give you a song, which is more of a whining
session about having to clean the house, serve late dinner guests, and deal
with crying children —you know, the kind of stuff that really goes on
during the “season to be jolly.”
Merry Freakin’ Christmas,